MOCKTALE- Bahubali- The extraordinary hero!!!

How does it feel when the entire world keeps on talking about something that you have not yet seen or heard? Yes, you feel as if you have missed something vital and you start looking for a chance to accomplish the new goal. The same has been happening with me since last month. I have been feeling like a fish out of water whenever there are discussions about “Bahubali”. And finally, I got the chance to watch it yesterday.

Seriously- what is wrong with people? How can they boast about this movie? I was put into black mood immediately after I finished this movie. It is not that I have the habit of biting someone’s head off but I have reasons to justify my opinion. This movie is said to be the most expensive movie ever made in Bollywood and I am still wondering what did the directors invest their money in?

Caution: Please read further only if you think you can tolerate criticism for “Bahubali”.

1.The opening scene shows Sivagmi saving the baby by holding the baby on her palm (yes, it is her palm) and keeping the hand upright. Simultaneously the water keeps overflowing and probably she is supposed to be dead. But guess what! Perhaps the phenomena of Rigor Mortis or Muscle contraction starts happening in her body and that helps her keep hand stiff and hold on to the baby.

2. The next scene was copied from The Dark Knight Rises. When Shiva tries to jump across from one mountain to another, it is shown that he has been trying that for quite some time. Now try to remember the scene from TDKR, where Christian Bale tries to escape from the prison (okay I agree it is not exactly the same but it reminded me of that very scene).

3. The next scene was the one copied from “The Mask”. “Smoking!!!” The hero (Jim Carrey/ Prabhas) gets a mask from out of nowhere and he becomes obsessed with it. The only difference here is that Shiva imagines Tammannahaaa (God! Why are there so many repetitive letters?) just by looking at the mask (Wow!!!).

4. Needless to say, the next absurd scene is when Shiva tries to follow Tamaammaannaaa and successfully reaches the top of the mountain. (Wow!!!)

5. How did the rope come right in the middle of a waterfall? And How was it possible to get hold of it? (I am still beating my brain out on this!)

6. Okay, as if copying “The Mask” was not enough, these people copied “Tarzan” too. How come Shiva has the abilities far beyond those of ordinary humans. He uses branches and hanging vines to swing at great speed, a skill acquired among the anthropoid apes. (Wow!!!)

7. Shiva is shown “so much obsessed” with Tammaannaanna that he follows her God knows what- reflection, imagination, hallucination… I mean really his level of imagination is far beyond that present in the normal humans! (Wow!!!)

8. The epic scene where he shoots an arrow and the arrow passes right through the trunk and gets stuck on the other side- BRAVO!!! What I can think of is that Shiva was carrying the kit of making a bow and arrow, a rope and tattoo marker and a cylinder containing snake and whatnot with him. If yes, how could he climb from one peak to another with so much weight? If no, how did he arrange these things? (Again Wow!!!)

9. Why on Earth is the hero so happy?

10. This movie exposes the viewers to the extreme limit of “Tharkipana”. (Wow!!!)

11. “Underwater drawing”- that is something innovative! (Wow!!!)

12. The scene where Bhallala fights the bull, it reminds me of Singham’s double fist punch (Devgan’s patent violated!) (Wow!!!)

13. Tammanahanna – Hyperbole for acting! Why on Earth does she walk like a robot? Robocop Tammy eh?

14. When Tammanannma constantly shoots arrows at Shiva, the brilliance of the hero is shown. Amidst all the chaos, he gets time to set up the trap for his girl. (Wow!!!)

15. Is he wearing a purple lipstick? (Wow!!! So pretty!!!)

16. “Tum ladki ho, main ladka hu”- first of all, hame to pata hi nahi tha. Second of all, “Maine Pyar Kiya”- copied!

17. What did the makers want to show through the scene where a flower falls in the hands? (Hmmmm….still thinking!!)

18. Devasena is shown saying “Mera beta ayega” time and again, which reminds me of “Mere Karan Arjun Ayenge”. Therefore, Karan Arjun copied!!

19. “Desi chloroform” epic fail!!!

20. Probably, Shiva is a Ghost Rider! Wondering why? Don’t you recall the scene where the tree is put on fire, not to forget- automatically, when Shiva enters the scene?

21. Jaya Bachchan- Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham- Shahrukh’s arrival- cliché- reused! (Wow!!!)

22. This one is hilarious! When Shiva prevents the “Murty” of Bhallala from falling, it is clearly evident that there is no tension in the rope. Dude come on! How can you put pressure and pull the rope without tension? (Not wow!!! This is sick!!!)

23. During the flashback scene when the two “Yuvrajs” are asked to give commands/ instructions to their “Prajas”, how did the two of them manage to get to that spot in the pool, which was surrounded by water on all sides, without getting wet? (I am expecting a Wow answer)

That’s all folks! There are more uncanny scenes/ scenarios in the movie but my fingers need rest and my mind needs to scan something more logical.

To conclude, I did not like the movie. In fact, “Kick” was far more logical than this one. Bollywood definitely needs to promote and approve some logical scripts. But that won’t be possible now! Why? Because Gajendra Chauhan is the new head!!!

Signing off!! Ciao!